April “snow” showers bring more snow showers. I’ve had enough. I’m heading back to Florida. By the time you’re reading this, I’ll have my toes in the sand and a glass in the hand. Goodbye shovels, goodbye mittens, goodbye winter jackets, goodbye freezing cars. Naples, here I come.
I’ve written many times about getting rid of the clutter. So, the other day, I was cleaning out junk drawers and found a gift card to Walmart for $100—jackpot! I made a giant list of things I needed and wanted, headed to the store and quickly filled my cart.
I had things for my trip; storage containers, groceries, towels, etc. I was adding it all up to the magic $100 and headed to check out. I had the cashier quickly check to make sure it was a full hundred and she told me there was nothing on that card. Nada. Zip. Zero. Can you feel my embarrassment? My pain? I didn’t buy the items in the cart. Instead it was exit stage left. The walk of shame. So, let me be the official poster child for gift cards. Check the balance first before your cart looks like the Beverly Hillbillies truck.I think I’m still good with not having to ask for an airplane seat extender. It’s always my goal to return without needing the extender as well. I purchased the lowest price airline ticket available which means to the back of the plane, most likely next to the restrooms. I will walk slowly down the plane hoping and praying my companion passenger has small shoulders and hips. There’s nothing worse than when the extra upper thigh spreads a little into the next seat.
I always look at the folks in first class with those wider seats and comfy chairs. Most often they are the smallest people on the plane enjoying that luxury. All the plus-size, frugal folks are packed in like sardines. I know I’ll be twisted like a big old pretzel for the duration all to save $25. If you’re 5-feet 8-inches or over, it’s hard to hide the legs. It’s just like being born. You’re stuck in this fetal position until you hear that announcement, “Ladies and gentlemen, you can take off your seatbelts.” Whoosh. Let my fat go free. Sally unleashed. Goodbye claustrophobia, hello Florida!
I know I’ve said this before, but I seriously plan to “lose” weight on this trip. (Quit shaking your heads, loyal readers. I’m serious this time.) I’ll be playing that song, “Walking on Sunshine” on my iPod. I’m on a mission to slim down the hips for the flight back as I’ll be back on economy row.
I wonder how the rummage sales will be in Florida. I have a whole new state to explore. Oh wait a minute, I’m downsizing— so soon I forget. I need to lose the clutter and lose the weight. Replay the tape.
I’ll be writing next week from Florida. I’ll have beach tales and beyond. I’m not coming back until it quits snowing for good. Stay warm Minnesota. Over and out.
Sally Yuccas lives in Virginia, MN.