Greetings and Sallytations!
Well, I made it safe and sound to Naples. Flying is work. My first flight left Duluth at 5:30 a.m., boarding at 4:30 a.m. That meant leaving Virginia a bit after 3 a.m.
As I sit waiting to board my plane, I look at all the people, people with small shoulders and hips, crossing my fingers that they sit next to me. As I enter the plane I slowly try to get my hips through the narrow aisle hoping they don’t injure anyone on the way to my seat.
Alas, I get to my seat, muttering to myself about my lousy luck. I’m sitting next to either a world champion wrestler or a linebacker. He has broad shoulders and is narrow hips. I’ve never seen such broad shoulders in my life. He was probably thinking the same thing when he saw me. I also have shoulders that are quite wide. I have a wing span of a gorilla.
Anyway, I slither into the seat and realize we are going to have to be miserable. I managed to turn my body to make it work. It was a 40-minute mammogram to say the least. I had visions of the jaws of life coming to pry me out upon arrival.
I had minimal time to get to my next flight and, of course, it was on the opposite end of the airport. I felt like I was trying out for the Amazing Race. I was the last person on the plane before they shut the doors. Whoever thought I could break into a slight jog.
Again, I eye up all the people, wondering what this flight will bring. There is a God. I got to sit next to the sweetest 9-year-old girl. Jackpot! It was a sweet ride to Florida.
The biggest thing I need to acclimate to is the hot, humid weather. I have found out that Florida has just hit record highs in the history of the state. I normally do not sweat but, in Florida, sweat happens.
My fear is getting in and out of our car with leather seats and waiting for my skin to peel off. You don’t get out of your car quickly down here. Trust me. You can just feel your skin slowly trying to detach from the seats. It’s a process. Not like in Minnesota, where the seats are frozen and you jump out quickly because you’re freezing. Next week, the heatwave is going to end and we’re back in the 80s.
I made my first trip to Walmart and, as always, it’s an adventure down here. I enjoy listening to all the various accents from both workers and the people who live here. The gals at the deli are all from Haiti. Mark tries to dazzle them with some French phrases. I think they just roll their eyes after we leave.
I get a kick out these gals always letting us sample the deli meat before we make a purchase. Like who hasn’t tasted ham or hard salami? I’ve noticed that people from the East Coast are a bit impatient and take line cuts more than the rest of us. I guess that Minnesota nice hasn’t caught on with the rest of the world. I just smile and ask myself, “Where is Allen Funt from Candid Camera?”
I came back to a little ant problem, which is common down here. My neighbor gave me the best ever homemade mix that works like a charm. Here it is: 1/2 c. boiling water, 1 c. sugar and 1 Tbsp. of Borax. Mix well. Keep in a small container. Spread this mixture where you think the ants are coming in your house. It really works. I guess they eat this mix, go back to where them came from and expire. It’s a gruesome mixture but the ants have to go.
My neighbor also shared with me his secret weapon if you have mice. You get the old-fashioned wooden trap and, rather than peanut butter, you put Betty Crocker chocolate frosting on it. How he came up with Betty Crocker over a different brand is beyond me. Who am I to judge. I think Duncan Hines would work. Whatever. If you have mice issues, see if it works. If it doesn’t, save the remainder and make a cake. The things I learn on an average day. Just call me Sally Heloise.
This past week marks my one year of retirement. So far, so good. Living the dream one day at a time. Now, my focus truly is on weight loss. The humidity is really helping. My water intake is way up and my exercise is increasing.
The first thing I did when I returned to Naples was tune up my Margaritaville bike. I’ve hit the pool daily and get a walk in before the sun gets too hot. It’s a start. It’s hard to be overweight in Florida. In Minnesota, I needed the weight for extra protection from extreme subzero temps.
That’s it for this week. Life is good. Over and out.
Sally Yuccas lives in Virginia, MN, and winters in Naples, FL.