Out of the Blue
By Brian Miller
HTF Columnist
I’m ebullient that it’s that time of the week again, time for a perspicacious and perspicuous look at the deucedly delicious world of sports to descry in an urbane and sanguine way just what’s going on out there. Although we won’t try to inveigle you into anything, we’ll take a desultory path where we just might indulge in some giddy schadenfreude and perhaps experience a catharsis. And today, I feel just rakish enough to go for it.
OK, OK, I apologize for all the big words. Or do I? I’ve been waxing quite magniloquent lately, on a vocab kick really – yes, I know my life must sound a smashing enthrallment – and words have been tumbling through my head like balls in a bingo hopper, and I figure it’s good to share.
So I’ll tell you what. Let’s do a quick quiz on some of the above words. I ensure you it will be resounding regalement. Inconceivable?! I do not think that word means what you think it means.
(Note: In lieu of hate mail, oh never mind. Just send it in.)
1) Ebullient [ih-buhl-yuhnt]
a. What a bull is in a china shop.
b. Overflowing with fervor; high-spirited.
c. How Kevin Love must feel after signing a fouryear (max money) extension with the Wolves Wednesday and then going out and dropping 31 points and grabbing 10 rebounds as Minnesota upset the defending NBA champion Mavericks for the second time this month.
2) Perspicacious [per-spi-key-shuhs]
a. When one sweats and is odoriferous.
b. Having keen mental perception; discerning.
c. Something not many people would have accused Wolves GM David Kahn of being not that long ago. Then he went and hired Rick Adelman and Ricky Rubio came over from Spain and sud denly he’s looking semi- Einsteinian. And the Wolves have jockeyed themselves into the edge of the playoff picture.
3) Perspicuous [per-spik-you-uhs]
a. Conspicuous’ younger sister.
b. Clearly presented; lucid.
c. The opposite of what the Vikings stadium plan has been. “Let’s build it here in the middle of nowhere in Arden Hills. No, wait, let’s overshadow this historic church down town. There’s always L.A.!”
4) Deucedly [doo-sid-lee]
a. Two times the pleasure, two times the fun.
b. Devilishly.
c. How the Vikings play with their fans’ emotions year in and year out. Just when you get your hopes up…
5) Descry [dih-skrahy]
a. To cry at one’s desk when unable to come up with a witty definition.
b. To see something unclear or distant by looking carefully; espy.
c. What the Twins were unable to do with many of their most recent deals. (The Japanese disaster leads this list.) Hope fully with Terry Ryan back in charge, this will reverse itself.
6) Urbane [ur-bayn]
a. The bane of your existence.
b. Smooth in manner; polite, refined, elegant.
c. What I hope to be when interviewing Rubio Friday night because I know he will be. He’s just that type of kid. Smooth on the basketball court, polite off of it.
7) Sanguine [sang-gwin]
a. A sane penguin.
b. Cheerfully optimistic, hopeful, confident.
c. Despite the rash of injuries, the attitude of the Minnesota Wild should have after winning two straight to get back into a playoff slot heading into the All-Star Game.
8) Inveigle [in-vey-guhl]
a. An invasion of eigles. (That’s the absolute best I can come up with on deadline?)
b. To lure or ensnare by flattery or artful talk.
c. No matter how many NASCAR fans try to convince me differently, I’m not going to become a racing fan. There’s no chance anyone NASCARrelated other than Danica could ever inveigle me into anything.
9) Desultory [des-uhl-tawr-ee]
a. The lack of salt on your French fries.
b. Digressing from the main subject; random.
c. One of this writer’s favorite words.
10) Schadenfreude [shahd-n-froid-duh]
a. When preceded by “Mr.”, Dr. Freud’s evil alter ego.
b. Satisfaction with another’s misfortune.
c. The feeling Vikings fans had after the Packers lost.
11) Catharsis [kuh-thahr-sis]
a. The legendary hunter of snipes.
b. Purging of emotions or release of emotional tensions.
c. The feeling after finding out that Joe Paterno had passed away. He was a fine man who made a mistake in judgment.
12) Rakish [rey-kish]
a. The sound a rake makes when you step on it and the handle swishes up to meet your face.
b. Dashing, jaunty, smart or slightly disreputable appearance.
c. The look I’m going for, but never quite able to attain.
Now that wasn’t so bad, was it? And now you can confound your coworkers with your newfound lingo.
(Note: I’m not responsible for any injuries sustained as a result of such behavior.)
Until next time…
Brian Miller is a longtime local sports writer. He is equally amenable to glowing accolades and scathing reviews at miller24bri@gmail.com.
