Heed Everything And Respond

“Did you even hear a word I said?”

This is an expression of frustration and is used far too often. Its source causes marriages to fail, employees to be fired, and games to be lost. All because we failed to hear what was being said.

“Wait a minute,” you say, “my ears were open, I was listening!”

Norm Anderson in his book, “12 Seeds of Successful Relationships” states:

“Listening goes beyond simply hearing something. Listening involves actually heeding – that is, noticing and considering something – so that it affects a person’s thoughts or behavior. Physically hearing a train whistle is only part of listening. Heeding the warning – stopping to let the train pass – is a fuller form of listening that yields a life-saving result... “When listening grows, people receive the attention they need. They are able to express themselves, and voice their fears, needs, joys and dreams. People show they care about others when they listen, and are willing to invest time to be with them. The gift of listening is a gift that another person may treasure for a lifetime.”

Hearing is one of the fundamental keys to communication, and it ranks even higher than speaking. Again, in order to truly HEAR what another is saying, we need to Heed Everything they say And Respond in a way that proves to them that we actually were listening.

For example, a wife may say, “Honey, when you get done with work could you pick up a few things for me?” The husband responds with, “Sure! No problem. Just tell me what you need.”

“Could you pick up my clothes at the dry cleaners, a dozen eggs, a loaf of bread, and a gallon of milk?”

He says, “Sure.”

Unless he has perfected his listening skills, he most likely will either not pick up the items, or miss a few. Why? Because he did not respond properly to her. What he should have said was, “Ok, so if I heard you right, you want me to pick up your clothes at the drycleaners, a dozen eggs, a loaf of bread, and a gallon of milk, right?” This is what is known as “Drive-Thru” communication. One speaks, and another repeats back what was said, proving that the recipient was actually listening.

Parents and teachers also deal with this issue on a regular basis. Part of getting someone to hear us is first gaining their full attention. Too often people are thinking of other things while listening to another speak, which inhibits our ability to Heed Everything that’s said. How can we then Respond appropriately? If a parent or teacher says to a child, “Don’t forget to get your homework done,” they know that if the child does not Respond immediately by writing it down and saying, “I won’t forget. I’ll get it done on time,” it often won’t get done at all!

What about on the job? If the boss asks you to do something, and you either don’t Respond, or you mutter some kind of “Mmm hmm,” the boss knows that you neither did you HEAR them, nor are you truly interested in your job. Follow through with orders you are given. Write them down and Respond in a way that the boss knows that you took time to Heed Everything he or she told you, showing respect.

Many games are lost because a player did not Heed Everything the coach told them and follow through with the play that they were told to execute. For instance, in football, if a coach tells the quarterback, “I want you to run I-28 half right blast!” and the quarterback does not Respond back with “I-28 half right blast,” the coach will wonder if the next play will be accurate. This could cost the game! All because he didn’t HEAR what the coach was saying.

“What about deaf people?” You might be saying, “How can they HEAR?” Remember the acronym? We merely have to Heed Everything And Respond. Deaf people have an incredible ability to Heed what is being said and actually are more intent on listening, either through sign language, reading lips, or hearing aids. Maybe more of us should be using HEARing aids. I think deaf people HEAR better than many of us who have fully functioning ears.

To really listen, you must take in all that you have heard and then Respond to it. There is a saying, “Kill two birds with one stone.” Sometimes I like to see if people are really listening by saying, “Kill two stones with one bird.”

There are those who have ears to hear but don’t listen. There are those who have eyes to see yet have no vision. If we would stop and listen, our vision would be made clearer.

Nick is the author of the book “Cross Words – Renewing Your Mind with Acronyms of HOPE” and is one of three Funeral Directors at Range Funeral Home.