Out of the blue

How long I will be a guest here, I’m not sure. I’m certainly going off of columnist’s privilege. To be wrong, that is. And then some. In a series of mostly unrelated events:

The Minnesota Twins did nothing. Sat on their hands. Carved wooden decoys out of little pieces of birch wood. While Joe Mauer floated away.

The Minnesota Vikings nearly signed a guy with hands of Gorilla Glue. (LT, with just 12 lost fumbles in nine career years.) They promised him a piece of the moon. Too bad they were competing with the N.Y. Jets, who own a piece of the sun. Instead, we’re stuck with a guy with hands consisting of Butterfingers.

The Minnesota Vikings may have signed LT, but The Ole Gunslinger allegedly did not tip off whether or not he will unholster his right arm for this upcoming season.

Rich Odell’s Blue Devils had their repeat trip to state derailed by Rush City in the Section 7AA semifinals Wednesday. Hopefully, and it’s not likely, it won’t be another 44 years before the Virginia boys hoopsters return to that prestigious stage.

Private school kids aren’t all snobs, much to the chagrin of a certain writer who wishes for simpler times when cake-eaters were easier to categorize. A certain writer shared a hotel with four different teams at the state hockey tournament last week and found the Hill-Murray kids personable, polite and not persnickety… And the classiest kids staying there.

The itch to golf is returning. However, the case of the missing golf clubs has not yet been solved. I think God decided to save a multitude of squirrels, worms and trees from the forays of a certain writer this year.

Should the expected matchup between Chisholm and Mesabi East ensue in the Section 7A boys basketball tournament finals Saturday at the Hibbing Memorial Arena, it would pit the state’s winningest coach Bob McDonald against one of its youngest, Jeremy Fleming, whose squad erupted for its current 10-game winning streak (heading into Thursday’s semifinals) with an eight-point win over the Bluestreaks at Aurora. It is awfully tough to beat a team three times in a season, but that is exactly what the Giants task would be in the purported finals against the defending section champion Streaks.

I’m not entirely sure if March Madness is contagious, but just to be sure, if you see a certain writer approaching, please provide a wide berth.

In somewhat related news, after Old Dominion and BYU triumphed on the first afternoon\ of the tournament, a 47-inch LCD TV ducked out of the way of an crumpled bracket sheet angrily thrown by a jaded eternal optimist.

The boys in blue, also known as the Virginia/MI-B Blue Devils boys hockey team, closely resembled a state championship contender. Look no further than their 2-1 quarterfinal loss to Hermantown, who in turn miraculously rallied for an overtime win over Mahtomedi in the semis and lost a controversial 2-1 contest to a bunch of cake-eaters (read The Breck School) in the Class 1A state championship game. A 4-2 consolation championship loss to more cake-eaters (read Rochester Lourdes and the earlier observance about said cake-eaters) notwithstanding, the boys in blue acquitted themselves quite well in the Twin Cities last weekend.

In hindsight, maybe a  writer was wrong about myth of global warming. the What? It’s not even spring It’s been a gorgeous spring. yet?

Some might call it St. Patrick’s Day and rejoice in the driving out of the snakes amongst other things. I call it Grandpa K’s birthday. Happy Birthday, Grandpa!

St. Urho +2 over St. Patrick in matchup of myth versus legend.

As long as we’re laying odds, the over-under is six on wrong turns a certain writer makes to and from the Target Center at the state girls basketball tournament this weekend. Nothing like a refreshing 11 p.m. drive through north Minneapolis.

The Gophers are dancing. Do not alarm. And don’t be surprised if they pull off an upset or two in de facto home games in Milwaukee this weekend. Beyond that, the Gophers retire their dancing shoes.

The Big Dance crystal ball appears quite clear. And no, it’s not the Jayhawks- Wildcats as our all-knowing Commander-in-Chief indicates in his “don’t jump out on a limb there” bracket. A certain hillbilly writer will rejoice when his West Virginia Mountaineers cut down the nets after a victory over the precocious Evan Turner and “The” Ohio State Buckeyes.

Joe Nathan will test out his torn throwing elbow Saturday. Fingers are crossed across the Land of the Jolly Green Giant.

Tiger Woods reportedly will return for The Masters. I have no punch line.

A huge salute goes out to our men and women in uniform, who are often overlooked and underappreciated in this space and all across this great country and abroad.

Until next time…

Brian Miller is a longtime local sports writer and the co-founder of iSportsNorth. He currently resides in Eveleth and can be reached at miller24bri@gmail.com.